Monday, 23 July 2012

Beginner Work out. #ZUZKA LIGHT 'S follower

since i watched a few videos from #victoria secret's model daily workout.i am so tempted to work on my body, i would love to see progression in my work out system, see how far this GOD's creation can cop up with intense work out. i started training since a few months ago when i discover about, it's amazing! and i also follow ZWOD (host by ZuZka Light) from Youtube. now let's get started. ;) wish me luck! people! xoxoxo

Thursday, 23 June 2011

i hate when i can't ignore people wh are not true to me

i hate it.
let's forget about the fact that these people dont embrace ur good deeds instead brought up such an issue when u can't do what it seems out of ur WILL. it doesn't really matter.
what matter is, u have faith in these people. without saying they should knew it all along.
they dont have to thank you for whatever good things happened between you both. it really unnecessary thing to do, at least for some one like me.
you know someone like what? some one who born the way like her kindness or the best part of her will be translucency despite one big mark of a judgement other people think SHE'S NO GOOD.
and then there's a wound deep on my tiny little heart am i not doing enough? being such a person noted quite importance for your current episode of life. such as maybe friend, maybe close colleague or maybe "we bound because we live here together and no one else fit us better" or maybe when we need something , me or ur name is among the names that come out in our mind in that time..
i dont know what's the definition is. but now i start hoping there's NO definition.
i already told myself, i dont mind what others think about me. i dont mind when u tell people how she is...... she is....., she supposed to be a good friend. she supposed to see me more often or surrounding know that we quite close.. so i'm hoping ...but she's ignoring me...bla bla bla.
i know this is not the exact words that come out from your mouth when u just feel like u wanna spill out something to the ummm common people..i really dont mind even if it is true.
but it feels like that.... just like that...the feeling u cant describe in a word. i lose my respect on you, some of the trust and im quite dissapointed.when i did that. dissapointed with myself not you.
through all of my life honestly, i do really like pretender so much. i think the fun part is, it's lot of joy watching someone faking their ass in front of ur eyes. and u play ur role.. u make it a lot of fun. and let the people see we happy the way we did the faking role play. but now i realize i just dont, because the fun part isnt funny any longer. i need something real.
then, this idea just suddenly shoot my head. no matter how many thousand good deeds i offer people. it will be unnotice. and then disregardly , when it comes to the things "i can't do something they hope i can do, but it's obviously out of my will, and it's consider nature that i can't be in everything PERFECT.
there is the point.. i dissapointed people. people noticed that part.and eagerly wanna make that small thing such a big issue. u brought it up . exposing it let the others know the things that u just found out about me is i'm not really good to you. then people start calculating based on personality.
true that.
seriously i dont give a damn if the whole town think that im no good, or think that im the most suspicious ganster, or im dangerous, or whatever could possibly seems bad on me.
what i really do care is.. why this thing has start with you. i know we dont have anything special definition. and i know we could care less towards each other. we do our own things, but sometimes we together. like , like friend maybe.. maybe for before i feel dissapointed.
im not important for you as i do u. but sometimes we need each others hand just like normal people .like when we need help we asking then if either one of us cant make it, no no i mean if im asking ur help then u cant make it, then i turn to other people who can. is just simple to me as that. TO ME. no big deal..but not to you. u think a bit different.
then i start thinking i would ignore u for many reason. but it's my nature, i ignore most people around and make myself hidden or keep my distance with any ,anyone. so i can concentrate on my self more.MYSELF I REPEAT. then some colleague and friends i give them these small space to fit together completing me. and my daily life.
i dont get it when i try to put myself in ur shoes, how can u feel so eager so wanted to spill out easy to just anyone about ur...umm... NO DEFINITION. maybe it;s not u, maybe it's somebody who cared too much bout u. but no matter what the issue exposed.
im not ur consideration, and im not sad about that. because im happy enough for what we had. but at least i shouldnt trust you so much an d i shouldnt being nice on you not even a bit.
it's a big thing for me, i aware so much. to make nice to just anyone.. and i make some nice thing to people i consider no harm or no threat to me. and for the rest i give them zero. because that's the rest i keep for... when start talking bad bout me.. i can feel nothing. but u're the other case...
u go to my list " watch them closely, and more aware than your enemy, because they tend to stab behind your back'....
end of the story.
i hope after this u will be straight to my list not so a dangerous person i could care less. give them zero.''
i know for now i can't make it yet..but somehow i'll try. because i want to live my life better, no vengeance no hatred. that's my rule..
keep on playing my games. tq

Monday, 16 May 2011


99%? how could it be possible?. we're medical student for godsake!. it's 99%. that's how u do it?
sorry, it dont make sense to my silly ears( it just me, im a bit silly). i could manage myself 60% enough to pass with my half body paralysed after that.fooh..and 99%? way too much for me..i dont know what u're doing to your brain, it must be something gifted or trained well , but it just damn!. what are u? what creature are u?dont u see urself as someone weird? i reckon u must've some feeling of being different than the community..maybe. when the whole world moving on and u just stare at one point which is the books. why dont u feel like get ur ass up, being loud, get rough, and noise...loose urself or something? dont u...dont u think it's some part of missing to ur hell routine> how could u do that, it's ignorance. apparate in a world like normal while u're the other thing. u know what i mean. (u dont) no matter what, u're insane lunatic creepy genius. u're still wondrous (maybe u just have to fix a lil on ur face, then there it is.. no no i was just kidding. u're perfect) keep up~

Sunday, 15 August 2010

what come may......

Well, I'm not givin' up, no, I'm not turnin' 'round,

By the grace of God, I'll win a shinin' crown someday.

Well, I'll keep holdin' on to that nail scarred hand;

I'm not givin' up, No, I'll keep goin' on.

I've been walkin' through the valley, thru this vale of tears;

At times I've even questioned even if my Lord was near.

Many times that ol' tempter says, "Why not turn around?

You can't get any farther, you're just losin' ground."

But, I'm not givin' up..........................................................

Would you mind to tell me, there's been something bothering me?

Why is it that old devil just won't let God's children be?

You see he has purposed and determined to get right in the way;

And turn us from the way of life and lead our souls astray.

But, I'm not givin' up, tho i'm not givin' in as well~

The jealous mind can be unfair

I hear them make their accusations

come what may

No matter what the people say
I'm never givin' up, not givin' in

If there's the slightest chance that I could win

The battle may be lost, but I can win the war

And get the lovin' back the way it was before
At times it's hard to see the changes

Or read the writing on the wall

We may become the best of strangers

But I'll keep holding on

Until I know my chance has gone


Friday, 2 April 2010

kainku tinggi menyinsing peha mengamankan negara,
apakah kau sekarang tidak lagi eperti dulu?
apakah sudah hilang kasih sucimu terhadapku?

marahkah kau jika kukatakan andainya Hawa terpesong ,
maka Adam yang patut tanggung!
Adam kau selalu berkata, Hawa memmang degil, tak mau dengar kata,
tak mudah makan nasihat, kepla batu, pada hematku yang dhaif ini,

Adam, seharusnya kau tanya dirimu, apakah didikanmu terhadapku sama
seperti didikan Nabi Muhammad S.A.W terhadap isteri- isterinya,
adakah Adam melayani Hawa seperti psikologi Muhammad terhadap mereka?
Adakah akhlak Adam-Adam boleh dijadikan contoh terhadap kaum Hawa?

kau sebenarnya imam dan aku adalah makmummu,
aku adalah pengikut-pengikutmu,
kerana kau adalah ketua.
jika kau benar, maka benarla aku,
jika kau lalai, lalaila aku,
kau punya kelebihan akal manakala aku kelebihan nafsu.
akalmu sembilan, nafsumu satu.
Aku...akalku satu nafsuku beribu!
dari itu Adam, pimpinlah tanganku, kerana aku sering lupa dan lalai,
sering itu aku tergelincir ditolak sorong oleh nafsu dan kuncu-kuncunya.
bimbingla daku untuk mendalami kalimah Allah,
perdengarkanlah daku kalimah syahdu dari tuhanmu agar menerangi hiudpku.
tiuplah roh jihad ke dalam dadaku agar aku menjadi mujahidah kekasih Allah.

Andainya aku masih lalai dengan kerenahmu sendiri,
masih segan mengikut langkah para sahabat,
masih gentar mencegah mungkar,maka kita tunggu dan lihatla,
dunia ini akan hancur bila kaumku yang akan memerintah.
malulah engkau Adam, malulah engkau pada dirimu sendiri,
dan pada Tuhanmu yang engkau agungkan itu.....

(petikan warkah dakwah 1986)
p/s : after reading this article, i wonder is there's any Men still deserve to be called Adam~

Sunday, 26 April 2009

sungai besar, sabak bernam= changlun, kedah= mansoura egypt

my life pawned to fate
throwned up
in the huge prison with no end.
i end up found myself
i cant even when i've tried
mom said; life is hard
so i can live a little bit HARD
but not THIS MUCH
it's too hard, TOO MUCH notta "little" not even close
i repeated myself again n again
i guess this is the fate against me
sungai besar changlun mansoura
why ME??
why it's alway s be me to have this fate
i cant go on ,
i feel like giving up
cuz i know myself well
this is not a good idea to go on and be strong
i tried again to make sure it's possible on me
but i failed again.
i failed myself and the will to try
like i did before
i end up gave up.. and return back home
where the most place i would like to be
this whole life..
i thought
i tried, cuz i thought, i've growned up
strong enough to stand the life alone
but WHY, this feeling drag me down.
i hope that i'm
giving the best last shot
cuz i want to win myself ...
in this situation that always become the most
most problem i had in life...

Tuesday, 31 March 2009

maybe i'll go.FLAC

you think you've made it

everything is going so fine

but then appear someone who wanna tear you down

wanna rip you off those

few nice things you've found

when and if you hit the ground

then it's falling kinda hard cause all you do is being yourself

trying everything to succeed somehow

but that's not the way things are right now

feeling kinda lost

those reasons those unkind words being expressed

oh, they'll get to you, i promise, one day

but maybe then it's too late for you to say

i knew it from the go, 'cause you know

that's some miles away from the truth

don't forget

hey, what do you think of me now?

am i not like i once were?

still if you don't know me what's the story of this pen?

i guess you're not a stranger

and i can tell you're not a friend

it might take a while but i guess i'll manage waiting till then

then, when you confront me with your thoughts

and you think i don't notice

don't get a bit hurt by what you do

i ask to please think of what i've done to you

please search inside and let me know

if i've done something wrong i guess i'll go



never to be found

just let me know

then i'll go

then i'll go