sungai besar, sabak bernam= changlun, kedah= mansoura egypt

my life pawned to fate
throwned up
stranded
isolated
in the huge prison with no end.
i end up found myself
i cant even when i've tried
mom said; life is hard
so i can live a little bit HARD
but not THIS MUCH
it's too hard, TOO MUCH notta "little" not even close
depressive
i repeated myself again n again
i guess this is the fate against me
sungai besar changlun mansoura
why ME??
why it's alway s be me to have this fate
i cant go on ,
i feel like giving up
cuz i know myself well
this is not a good idea to go on and be strong
i tried again to make sure it's possible on me
but i failed again.
i failed myself and the will to try
like i did before
i end up gave up.. and return back home
where the most place i would like to be
this whole life..
i thought
i tried, cuz i thought, i've growned up
strong enough to stand the life alone
but WHY, this feeling drag me down.
22
i hope that i'm
giving the best last shot
cuz i want to win myself ...
in this situation that always become the most
most problem i had in life...
................................................................................

maybe i'll go.FLAC

you think you've made it

everything is going so fine

but then appear someone who wanna tear you down

wanna rip you off those

few nice things you've found

when and if you hit the ground

then it's falling kinda hard cause all you do is being yourself

trying everything to succeed somehow

but that's not the way things are right now

feeling kinda lost

those reasons those unkind words being expressed

oh, they'll get to you, i promise, one day

but maybe then it's too late for you to say

i knew it from the go, 'cause you know

that's some miles away from the truth

don't forget

hey, what do you think of me now?

am i not like i once were?

still if you don't know me what's the story of this pen?

i guess you're not a stranger

and i can tell you're not a friend

it might take a while but i guess i'll manage waiting till then

then, when you confront me with your thoughts

and you think i don't notice

don't get a bit hurt by what you do

i ask to please think of what i've done to you

please search inside and let me know

if i've done something wrong i guess i'll go

far

hidden

never to be found

just let me know

then i'll go

then i'll go

stopo to point..

if it is one thing,

a large call memory or many things,

a dark road winding through me,

let up say it is a bullshiitted ..

ive been regreting everyday

regreting and singing them going to grow in one of the precious mine,

or now it is half over my head,

a partially open door..

pain dripping from the dream.

like yours it could be anything,

a hallway that leads to a thousand rooms.

wish that whatever happen to fload them away.,

when i close my eyes and look out a window for more than a few minutes,

so that some days i think,

it must be everything and nothing at once…

and my life is the breeze that blows through the whole scene stirring everything it touches…..

i KiSSED A Girl... NOT My INteNTIoN...(tot just a title from katy perry)

huhu…. i don’t knoe wut to do with my blog..this is not the location of my feeling….i only come undone in myself, in my heart.(berengset)… i keep thinking wut is blog use 4? and i’m tired to even think about it…=/hurm, what to say huh,the becoming examination are soo close and it didn’t go to waste i think, cuz i’m still alive..hoho. but i’m pretie sick rite now. currently, i’m watching shin chan/dik cerdas, super miang and naughty boy like hell!..haha..i like this cartoon, so cute.okay2, so rite here, through all of the blogs i’ve read, most of them revolve around love and relationships. when i m\ean about relationship, i’m talking bout the one on one kind, urm….sumthing like girl n guy, guy n guy, girl n girl….whuteva it is suits 4. i’m talking bout the relations that rili exist in this world…we call it ‘life’ rite. the straight relationship is common in our daily life, but wut make me wonder,’wut’s the actual thing that turns out this kinda…gay or lesb or bi. i remember, when i was in form 3,i hang out wit one of my buddy who’s involved wit this kinda..hurm lesbo, i’m not shock at all, but i’m wondered.. and sumtyme i do blame my lesb buddy, why she involved wit all of this shit…she told me,this is not the actual thing her heart wanted for.i’ve seen the heart break inside of her,the way she choose to be, the regardless of good or bad, (derw, yela tuh)has lead her here(lesb community..ahaks!) and i just huh, ‘lantak kau ar’… i’m a type of gurl who didn’t care too much bout other people, i just… live my life, love my love..hahahaha…. i used to be an easily trust-giving person before, trust.. trust..trust..haha. until one stage in my life, i’m giving up my trust in… …i don’t know in what, but all i knoe i’m giving up.. my…trust, and start feeling insecurity most tyme as i can’t easily trust. .huh, there’s two type of gurls after they ‘or being hurt, the one who keep trying and the another one who bcome "phobia tic" person,then tend to do sumthing like stupid, idiot things!( no matter what it is). no, i’m not going to talk so much on dis.
why is that, most people just having fun wit sum1 like-minded? could it be possible the loyalty to take place? honesty? maybe this is true, "the teenagers get into relationship to fulfill their lustful desires rather than it being a pure commitment to each others wholistic needs" im totally agreed with this statement…huh, our lives are pawned to fate….nah, the issue is so played, that i’m tired to even think about it.."..people that afraid to face the same experience in the straight relation, r tend to choose the another path (this is really for you) (muslim got ‘imaan’ to prevent this, i still have. hehe)so, for this very fact my dear friends, some kinda bi/gay are not fully hv any feelings towards their own sex, but they choose to be that way untill the true person will come their way. they actually still open their heart,but be fully certain b4 they close it.(thesis 3 roman)so, before they close it, they r still waiting fer sum1 to grab them outa from this………okay2..i know, i know.. i’ve talked so much and i will stop crapping, k…..stay safe and god .bless…i am a normal human being, natural feeling towards opposite sex…heehee….-writer-
[end]
-gooboo production sdn bhd-

when u hate sum1 u can’t hate

when u be sum1 u don’t know

when u miss sumthing u can’t tell

when u heart sum1 (so much) u can’t feel

when u think about the old tymes,

u think about how great the thing is for you..

but when u think it twice,

u wonder how much u did for them?

when u think n think again,u couldnt find any, u lost..

and when u lost, u cant do anything, u cant move, u stare.

when u loved sum1 which is not rili ”L.O.V.E”. they still think it is LOVE.
on the other side, it just a luv, 4 sumthing they did the best 4 u before, its not sumthing u want from them.
when u keep on blaming others, u couldnt find the end of it. but when u try to look at ur own mistakes, u dunno how to fix it. u think u will b given the second chance, u start a new life, u leave the past.
but the past will remain to be the past forever in you unless u fix it, or else u live with it and all the guilt will haunt untill the tymes u dunno when.
so when u hate sum1 so much, u think u hv ur right to do so, u dun realise how the ‘hate’ thingy is actually hurting urself and make ur life miserable. y dun u just love urself?..
for godsake just LEAVE IT!.

fAKe MysElf.

bullshit~ creating insanity on yourself to fool others could not make sense at all. somebody once

said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expected a different result. the

result may ruin your life, then u will fix it later. symphaty~ will not show ur right. it is

unnecessary to be right all of the times, but its alright to be always kind. claim

for the forever doenst mean anything, but take thing as it comes and goes is something.forgiveness~ can be said

or written, it cant be mean with honesty.

I AM TOO PROUD OF MYSELF, WHEN I DO,..THEN I'VE DONE MY VENGEANCE..HIHIHIHAHAHAHA

you B.O.R.e me...

what am I trying to do now is wasting my tyme as much as I can..hehe .tomorow is Monday u knoe, n I got class. Uh, like I care, bwek!.

Um, what can I say huh, my life quite okay lately.Everything goin smooth, good life, good

new stuff, good friends, but my pocket money not so good la…(hehe just like usual)..everything is

so great I think..um, but y I still feel incomplete like something missing maybe, or maybe im

missing something or maybe I missed to do something..wuteva crap it is..i just feel it. Sumtymes

I need to pretend to be sum1 else to make people satisfied with me.but actually they hate it. They said I shouldn’t hv to do such thing. But when I become myself, arh, they still didnt satisfied with whateva i tried to be.. They still hate it.Duh.. so I don’t move, just shut and do nothing. Cuz wuteva move I take, it’s still wrong.So wuteva i do, it will never be the right thing rite. Hee..even how hard am I trying to prove dat its not my fault, it still mine.huh. its still mine wuteva it is.ya lah, 4 sure I did wrong sumtymes but ….erh, did I never do the right thing? Did I never be good at least or maybe a bit? Never? Did I never left any sweet memories even once?

Is dat all the bad things ive done? .sometyme when I started to hate sum1, I really do, hated so

deeply, I keep on telling myself, the bad things they did, the bad words they said to me. I

blocked my mind from giving chance to think about how good they ever be to me. Then my heart full with hatred i cant stop it nemore. C how great the 2%of mistakes can lead to full-

hatred until people get blind. The cant c the good things nemore, cant gv the chance for forgivnes nemore…not even gv the chance to appreciate the best things they have before.cuz people get blind, they full of hatred.huhu…c hw funny dis thing is. Hurm. But since I couldn’t think of any

gud things dat I ever did, maybe I did, maybe I did not, I hardly cant remember anymore so I have no right to claim for it. Let it be, cuz people used to seek for other people’s mistake rather

than seeking for their own.um…so what’s the purpose of inviting sum1 u asked to ‘’stay away

from u”, sum1 who make ur life become miserable huh? gee, just feel like to do so ha?..so, dun
ever do something without purpose, it getting worse (so mengantok) huah…saje merepek buat kerepek

3 o’clock
dude..so chow.=)